8 Ways to be More Resilient After a California Divorce (Part 2)

by Dinnebier & Demmerle on February 20, 2014


How else can you cultivate resilience after a major setback, such as a divorce, child visitation or child custody battle? Here are three more tips.

3.    Get totally clear on where you are right now.

It’s easy, when the chips are down, to fall into two kinds of bad habits: (1) wishful thinking, (2) catastrophic thinking.

You don’t want to “awfulize,” but you also don’t want to sugarcoat. Try to describe, as objectively as possible, your life now. Imagine you were a movie camera or an eagle-eyed journalist. Be accurate. Avoid lying to yourself. See your reality clearly.

4.    Identify where you want to go.

The clearer and more concrete you are about your goals, the easier it will be to make those plans come to fruition.

5.    Take action.

Psychological researchers who have studied success have noted a peculiar phenomenon: people who succeed in life in various arenas are  “action oriented.” They strive to act, rather than simply reflect and dwell. If you’ve done the hard work we discussed in steps 3 and 4, you should have clear ideas about where you are now and how you want your child custody or divorce case to unfold. The next step is to simply start taking action to move from where you are now to where you want to be. Don’t worry about getting it perfect – just move forward.

One great way to take action – if you haven’t yet retained a California divorce or child custody lawyer – is to connect with our legal team for a strategic consultation about your options.

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