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8 Ways to be More Resilient After a California Divorce (Part 3)

by Dinnebier & Demmerle on February 21, 2014

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Today we finish our series on how to hone your own resilience and bounce back from your frustrating child visitation, separation or other family law issue.

6.    Push yourself – just enough!

When we left off on our last post, we talked about the virtues of taking action. Proceed along your path in a way that stimulates you but doesn’t overwhelm you. It’s a touchy balance. If you push yourself too hard to make changes, you may fail – and then feel bad about “yet another” setback. Give yourself opportunities to “win.” Your actions should be inspiring – potentially a little challenging – but not overwhelming.

7.    Engage in continuous, never ending improvement (Kaizen)

Becoming more resilient is a process, not a one-time event. Even if you go through all the exercises we described in detail, you probably won’t notice a huge difference right away. Keep applying these lessons again and again, over months and years. You will build your resilience “muscles” and be able to take on bigger and bigger challenges with more equanimity.

8.    Go deep: get in touch with your purpose and core values.

Why are you on the planet? What is your life all about? Most people don’t ask themselves the “big questions” nearly enough. But they are important to ask – not only because the answers can change but also because the very act of asking them can lead to key insights. Perhaps, for instance, you are “all about” family. Or maybe you have a deep drive to help other people solve their problems – or to create great works of art.

Get clear on what fundamentally drives you, excites you, and makes you feel alive. You will be way more effective in any negotiations regarding child custody and/or your divorce. More importantly, you’ll position yourself better for long-term success – however, you define it.

Take the first step towards resolving your California family law crisis by calling our attorneys.

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